Slaying A Jabberwoky

I would have to be half-mad to dream up something like this?
Then perhaps I am.

I had nothing to do today. NOTHING. I made plans and I meticulously thought of excuses and cancelled them. I sat and cried a while, tried to act mature. Then gave it up.

Only after I gave up was I happy. At peace inside. As if I had untied this massive load off my heart and let it crash in to the waters below. It made me wonder why I had not done it earlier.

I think I just managed to cut the purple tongue off.

The undoing.

I miss you. In this completely heartbreaking way I miss you. You seem to have melted in to my pores like the after effects of a dream. I want to see you. I want to be close enough to smell your skin again. To place my fingers on your cheek and hold you when you sleep. There is this scream at the base of my throat that is clawing its way out. Tears well up reluctantly. The scream has sharp tearing fingers. I need you. I need you here now. I am angry for wanting you. Anger and Want. I still have not learnt what to do with either. My whole being is tearing out of me to rush to you. To keep you forever. Trapped perhaps. You have undone me. Every nerve in my body is coiled around your thoughts like your fingers around mine. I inscribe you on my skin. Make the cuts deep so as you stay forever. The scar is inching towards my heart so dangerously that I wake up in a clammy sweat, but still protected in your arms. Your kiss. I want your kiss on the back of my hand like lines on my skin.
Tomorrow morning when I wake up- my eyes will burn to want to see you next to me. And I won’t.
My heart is breaking. That is how much I miss you.