are you nobody as well?don't tell anyone...they will advertise!

who are you?
nobody?
oh!you are nobody as well??
well then..that makes two of us!!
do not tell anyone...they will advertise....

do briefs have to be given in boardrooms when there are no board meetings on?
do i get to look at you and wonder why you called me there alone?
do i pay attention to your words or to your eyes?

thank you for the pictures kid!!this could not have been done without you...

you photograph beautifully..

good job!!tell your mom

where do you stay?

look...i am not dancing anymore....

giving up something that made up for so many other things in life.and i miss it so much...
a new journey has begun and no longer can those avenues be treaded. but why not?
they all know the answers a tad bit too well.

let me go...

Take my hand my dear
We know that the time it is near
Be strong and be brave,my dear
Let me go now,let me go

How it came to this
It's not clear
Long and lonely nights
Now I fear
Though I need your hand to hold,
My dear
Let me go now,let me go
Let me go now,let me go

Take my hand my dear
We were drifting year after year
When we tried our best to fly,my dear
Let me go now,let me go

How it came to this
It's not clear
Long and lonely night
Now i fear
Be strong and be brave
My dear
Let me go now,let me go
Let me go now,let me go

Oh how ingenious the centuries of lies...

i feel like being torn between the past and the present.every living day and every moment that passes.
today as i passed by the lakes on my way to office i saw a boat leaving for the race.they had a separator between the courses that we never had.i just started thinkin about our race back in 2001..and how i had felt when we had won.
i started crying.i remembered that mum had refused to show me her face till the race was over cuz she thought that i might lose.
i don't know why i cried and they weren't tears that just welled up and then dried away.they actually ran down my face before i could stop them.
i do not know what i was missing.whether it was the feel of winning the race or the feel of being an entirely different person altogether.and i was scared of the person i was now.and i thought how i couldn't think with out looking back at my past and franctically searching for some answers that i left behind with my school badges and chest numbers.
where are those days?when everything made so much more sense and no one played tug-of-war with me?
a new day in a new office where i was made into a person that i am not...not yet.and i didn't know what to say.i sat there looking around the new place and trying to not feel that cold.for a moment i wanted to run back to my old office and plop down between the ppl i knew..but i couldn't..i wasn't allowed.
i missed the dates for delhi..and everything hangs on the balance...one result.just one result.
and i cried.why did i cry?

ENNUI...

I don't know how may games of solitaire i have played since morning!!!
And how many times i have had to deal my cards again...
this is classic boredom...just to get a damned letter days are being passed at a handicapped snail's pace to oblivion.
maybe things will never be this way again. and the day will come when i won't have time to breathe...but today is not that time...today is just another pointless day...just another one.
there is no work to be done...what ever had to be done has been accomplished at record speed for this agency and submitted exactly 5 minutes before lunch officially ended while the stalwarts sat in the boardroom feasting on rice and fish for their high class luncheon. and talked about kids and motion sickness.
my eyes are closing down...i cannot sit here longer and pretend to find bengali translations for obsolete words...and i can't leave...
they won't let me leave...

set me free...

no one insisted on this.
no one thought it was important enough to ask me whether i wanted to be me or not.
no one wanted to set me free.
grow up in a set of lies..believing for all the moments that passed away that life would change some way.
i did not grow up wrong..but i learn't to accept early enough that somethings looked good only...only in know it sounds cliched but..in books..
maybe that is why these people wrote books like that!!they are depraved souls as well!
i do not know whether i have been who i wanted to be all these years or am i a prototype of a mould life had created for the likes of me..shapeless mass of under used energy.
yes..throughly under used..
but after a long time i realize that i am spent...what i had is no longer there..what remains in a mellowed down..grown up facads of that same girl who blindly wanted to be someone.
we grow up too fast now a days..and if you are like me..you will back out at sometime..realising that you have grown up way too fast and then stop wanting to knock yourself out at this throttling pace of things around you..
i want to stop..
i have stopped..
but the things around me have not..
and thus..i can't either..
i have other plans now..for what lies ahead..
i do not want things to be this way..i am just getting started..

starting off...

It rained so hard today..just kept raining..and i didn't believe that i had to get out of bed and go to office....this just is not fair...i mused..i whined..and dove deeper into the covers...
i quit..i wanted to say that i am quitting already..
but i am just starting off....

the journey.....

I was a listener on the woods,
I was a gazer at the stars,
I was not blind where secrets were concerned,
I was silent in a wilderness,
I was talkative among many,
I was mild in the mead-hall,
I was stern in battle,
I was gentle towards allies,
I was physician of the sick,
I was weak towards the powerful,
I was not parsimonious lest I should be burdensome,
I was not arrogant though I was wise,
I was not given vain promises though I was strong,
I was not unsafe though I was swift,
I did not deride the old though I was young,
I was not boastful though I was a good fighter,
I would not speak about any one in thier absence,
I would not reproach, but I would praise,
I would not ask, but I would give.

Cormac Mac CuileannáinKing and Poet of Cashel, AD 836-903