Coffee- no baby!

I don't forget how old I am- if you have a doubt- perhaps you should ask me- instead of telling me that I am not old enough in various combinations of words, and expressions

After a night of almost no sleep- to survive a longer day of mindlessness- I thought I needed coffee. My colleague and I, headed down to Barista- since the office coffee tasted deplorable for some reason today. I went in and asked for a black coffee in something they call ‘Grande’. The guy in orange tells me- like a passing warning-

“It’s black coffee…”
“Oh is it??? I thought it was milk and chocolate…” I wanted to say.

I smiled back and said- “I know…I still want it…”

He shrugged…SHRUGGED. Like parents do when kids make unfair demands. He didn’t take my order. Another very smiley waiter in orange at the counter did- actually two of them. I repeated my order and then one speaks up, smiling insanely-
“Ma’m, it’s BLACK coffee…and it is VERY STRONG!”

I felt like a 12 year old in a bar…asking for whiskey.

A deep breath later I told him- “I KNOW! And I STILL want it- can I have it on the GO?!!”

For the love of God I am not sitting there drinking my coffee and have them look at me, waiting for my adolescent hormones to jump up and do something insane because of the STRONG, BLACK coffee. Break the sofa maybe- or throw a stone at the glass window.

They finally gave it to me – smiling all the way. They found it hilarious. They even opened the sugar, stirred it in, out on the cover for a ‘take-away’ and handed me the paper cup with a tissue. They could have just tied it around my neck like a bib! They even charged me two bucks less for my coffee!!!

WHAT were they expecting?

I am old enough to know what coffee I want, please!!! Next time around I will just order a milk shake to save me the trouble.