It took me a while to realize that if I had to look back at my life and pick that one great love, I could not. In 28 years I have not loved anyone either wholly or completely to have that permanent sense of heartache when I think of him. I thought for long, recalled moments spent with those I have said 'I love you' to. Went over situations and moments in my head so many times. But not one. There were two feelings in me that time - this overwhelming sense of relief and this haunting void. I do not know how they could co-exist. But they did. The former came from that little bit of hope that I might be yet to feel that kind of love. And the latter from the impending sense of never feeling that one great love for any person. Ever.