a long walk back...

we all deserve a second chance don't we?
or then a third and a fourth and then endless possibilities of forgiving and forgetting in a puzzle of our lives.
every step i took up that hill i knew i was moving away from you. gradually. slowly. and with as much purpose as i could possibly breathe in. don't try to fix me i'm not broken.
i am your lie living for you so you can hide.
live and keep talking.
and then the peak. and the sheer exhaustion. the realisation that we must climb down again. into the nothingness of life and scorn and the shipwreck of life's esteems.
for all the endless lines i had penned on your pages with red ink...one yours and one mine and then one yours again. don't be hurt. of course we will do this tomorrow again. and then one day the section of that notebook shall race to halt and we won't know how to carry on or whether to carry on at all.
we shall look at each other lost and disoriented and hope that one of us would turn the page and start the next section. and our hands will not budge. though in our minds the next lines are already written. signed. sealed.
this is my long walk back.
days of listening to stories that are not mine and wondering how i fit into that. but i am as much a part of it as the words that narrate it. i will hear you out. because there is a reason why you turned to me. i will never fail you when it comes to that. i will hear you.
now.
tomorrow.
and forever.
as long as i may breathe in purpose to give you hope that someone is listening.
so what if that someone is just me...?